Tags
bullying, CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive distortion, diet, emotional, healthy diet, labelling, loser, name calling, negative thinking, psychiatry, psychological, psychology, weight
Have you ever made a silly mistake and then said to yourself “I’m so stupid!” I guarantee that all of you have. Of course, there’s no problem in saying that to yourself on the odd occasion.
However, the problem starts when you repeatedly do this, be it for a fundamental mistake or for a tiny slip-up you’ve made. What’s happening here is that you’re labelling yourself.
Other common labels people give themselves include, “I’m so ugly,” “I’m so fat”, “I’m so lazy”, “I’m such a loser”. Labels are really unhelpful. They’re really generic.
Let’s take the example of somebody trying to eat a healthier diet. If that person later that day succumbs to a biscuit, he might call himself a loser for not resisting the temptation of a biscuit. But really, is he a loser for eating one measly biscuit? One measly biscuit? Of course he’s not a loser.
However, if that person calls himself a loser, that idea sticks in his head, “I’m a loser, I’m a loser, I’m a loser!” This idea of being a loser just ruminates and ferments in his head and that’s all he can hear. Isn’t that all you can hear now?…”I”m a loser!”
If all that person can hear is that he’s a loser, then it goes without saying that in that mindset you can see why he would think that he might just as well eat the whole packet of biscuits – isn’t that what a loser does? When he’s devoured that whole pack, he now really believes he’s a loser. He may go on to eat even more biscuits and more junk food; or he may not. Either way, he feels in a far worse off state than if he had just had that one measly biscuit.
If he hadn’t labelled himself a loser at the stage of one measly biscuit and maybe thought that this was just a “blip” in his new healthier lifestyle, undoubtedly he could have stopped eating any more biscuits, or at least he wouldn’t have had the whole pack.
You can see why labelling isn’t a good thing. It’s our mind having negative thoughts – distorting the truth. In psychological terms, this concept is known as a cognitive distortion.
Most people wouldn’t think a person is a loser for having one measly biscuit but there might be others thinking a person is a bit of a loser having a whole pack of biscuits. Labelling in either of these scenarios isn’t helpful for this person.
Labelling is sometimes referred to as name-calling. This idea of name-calling conjures up images of children teasing each other in the playground with rather spiteful names. It’s basically emotional bullying. You can imagine that in this playground situation, there’s a teacher intervening somewhere.
Now, we don’t really associate adults doing this, name-calling each other…but when we label ourselves, we’re name-calling ourselves. We’re being our very own emotional big bullies.
By being a bully to yourself, you’re essentially being an enemy to yourself. It makes me think of the saying, “With friends like these who needs enemies?” Throws a different spin on things, doesn’t it?
So, if you’re aware that you’re prone to a bit of labelling and this mindset is sabotaging you from where you want to get, a stop to the name-calling is a good move. You need to be the teacher here and intervene at this stage. This will stop you from spiralling into more negative thoughts and dipping lower in mood.
Acknowledging that you’ve made a “blip” or not done as well we you would have liked will suffice. There’s no need for you to go on teasing and tormenting yourself with nasty names. Just stop bullying yourself. Stop the name-calling. Stop the labelling.
Picture by Allison McDonald (Labels) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.